Dating advice to women from psychologists
In his study of deception in romantic relationships —in which the subjects had to be dating for at least four months—Tim Cole looked at both the primary reasons people lie as well as the effect of those deceptions on the state of relationships. Ask yourself the following questions as you listen: DON'T get lost talking about yourself and your past, including the mistakes, heartaches, who you were ten years ago or even in your last relationship. Change the way you look. DO practice balancing "you" time with "couple" time from the very beginning of the relationship. The process of getting to know someone can be complicated.
Then you've probably noticed the onslaught of search engine results when you Google the phrase "dating dos and don'ts. It is much easier than putting forth the energy required to pretend. DO present yourself authentically. Deciding when and how to disclose intimate information to a new partner is an important part of every romantic relationship and can be the difference between an honest, healthy relationship or a closed, stunted one. Instead, gradually reveal your inner thoughts, feelings, and personal story starting with light and casual then progressing to deeper, more intimate self-disclosures. People perceived to be physically attractive get asked out on dates more often and receive more messages on online dating sites. Over million results bombard the computer screen. The researchers found that when it was the male who was inhibited, women initially tended not to mind—they interpreted the behavior as a sign of a good and attentive listener which, in turn, tended to facilitate attributing other positive characteristics patience, kindness, etc. Location, location So what does this science of attraction tell us? The process of getting to know someone can be complicated. One of the things research has found is that personality traits which can move a relationship along in its initial stages may also prove to be the source of its eventual unraveling. Evaluate each situation and decide when the needs of the couple are a priority and vice versa, decide when your individual needs are a priority. DO make the conversation reciprocal, be inquisitive and show your interest in getting to know the other person. Other research has found that 46 percent of men and 35 percent of women overall admitted to lying in order to get a date. DON'T come on too strong! The Number One trait people sought was kindness and understanding. But too often those opinions were based on anecdotes, assumptions about human behaviour I knew to be wrong, or — worse — pure misogyny. I've witnessed this many times, with clients, friends, and in my own life. Well, first, it turns out that one of the strongest predictors of whether any two people will form a relationship is sheer physical proximity. It turns out that both women and men value traits such as kindness , warmth, a good sense of humour, and understanding in a potential partner — in other words, we prefer people we perceive as nice. DO approach others with curiosity, kindness, and compassion. Be cautious of giving up or limiting the time you spend doing things for "you", whether this be exercise, the beach, reading, cooking, spending time with friends, etc. All of this makes it difficult to know in advance how relationships will turn out in advance. The inhibited may also speak slowly, in contrast to the blurter as well. Is this person reflective by nature? When we alter who we are and portray values that are not our own, we attract people we were never meant to attract, therefore the relationship is doomed before it begins. Watch yourself for behaviors that could be constured as needy, desperate, unstable, or otherwise undesirable.
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